Normal

It is said we become what we think yeah it’s like i want to change everything that im going through it’s painful & it hurts it hurts more than loosing a million bucks i’ve got everything almost so many things i can be happy with & yes somehow i can still manage to be happy but this is hurting if everything is just in thoughts if it’s in mind than why can’t i change it since the first hit in 2012 i never really wana talk of it trust me but this is the turning point of my life since then i’ve got stabbed almost everyday it feels saddy you know han this stab feels bloody feels like im man in an ocean in the midst & far by their’s a hope but i just can’t get to there because something pulls me causes misery dizzy this life oh God feels hell like no destiny i think it’s easy i can get over to it i can handle this im just so strong im a king im the one a champion lightning like sun they’re many but im the one if they are stars than im the sun but then bangggg it draws me closer to it head feels hot & heavy everything feels crazy ive got the potential i might have passed those exams i know within myself what im capable of but it paralyzes me it paralyzes my thought i feel numb in mind & just no normality could be find sometimes it feels like stoping those medicines in the middle when practioner didn’t directed for the same was a grave mistake but again that may not be a mistake but this all might just meant to happen or if i might have continued those medicines my mind could have recovered at that point only or whatever it may be just my own thought but perhaps i can get control over these increased heartbeats this adrenaline rush this pain of mind this heavy head this hot days this living with black & grays no hope no hues no joyful rays just these prays oh lord make me better give me strength to faceeeeee this all & then not sharing it with anybody i don’t know wherther i should or not i wana see everyone else happy smiling i don’t want someone to get serioush for some of damnn problems i’ve met in life i can fight it i can get over it’s all just in mind it’ll all be over i just need keep going a continuous mover does sharing it with somebody might have reduced my pain ??? Is itttt who im asking to haha 😀 i don’t know what to do hope God you know what im going through please heal my wound please make me normal like others i can withstand any pain any failure any missing agony any sadness but it’s just to hard to stand against these all everyday i’ve gone through a lot of changes these many years but i wish i can get back to my life before march 2012 🙂 i haven’t yet forget night of 29th february 2012 looks like the last normal day of my life hahaha 😀 & you look han i can still laugh as im the one who will be vanishing you my enemy one by one i just want a normal life a normal life !!!!!